When we live in the closet, we learn to keep our desires hidden, sometimes even from our own selves. We might have sculpted a sexual appetite for anonymity, for games that express how it felt to spy and keep secrets. Owning our desires to be secretive and practicing them in a healing way can really turn us on and result in explosively hot sex. It can be so exciting to imagine our boyfriends getting fucked by other men. We may fantasize about being cheated on. We might enjoy the shock of our partners’ secret longings. Cuckold fantasies and scenes are increasingly circulating in queer communities. As, together, we heal and open, we claim pleasure in celebrating the individual and collective paths we have taken in order to come out into the open. Since we have always been on the margins of culture, as a whole, we are also expressive our sexual shadows in dynamic ways!
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